How My Mother Ruined My First College Date
My Alma mater recently contacted me asking for money. I'm surprised they wanted anything to do with me after all the trouble I caused.
I decided to go to college after taking a 3-year hiatus to live and work (starve) in NYC. Out of the blue, I applied and was accepted to the University of Colorado at Boulder. Now it was my mistake, but I was so excited that I called my mother and told her all about my getting accepted to college. My mother congratulated me and commented that she was a bit jealous that I was off on a great adventure. That was the last time we spoke until I moved. My mother at that point told me I should expect a surprise package.
Like most young people going off to college, I was excited, anxious, and unlike my peers shocked. My mother, so overjoyed that I had decided to go to college, decided that I should have company. She applied, was accepted, and arranged that we share a dorm room. Let me tell you...it made some great advances on my social life.
So I move into the dorm, and my mother makes more friends than I do. Now of course, this could be because the woman has more pot in the dorm room than all of Jamaica. Walking into my room smelled like a freaking greenhouse. My mother did try though and arranged a date for me with one of the only other gay men in the dormitory.
We had a nice dinner out, and came back to my room to talk. Mom was cool enough to let us alone, although she did feel the need to point out where the condoms were located. She had just baked cookies and had them cooling on the desk. Thoroughly embarrassed, I excused myself to go to the restroom. Upon returning, I noticed that my date was eating the cookies. A lesson to all people who meet my mom...NEVER EAT ANYTHING SHE BAKES.
My mother had dropped a hit of LSD onto each of the cookies. This poor fool had never even drunk alcohol, but had just eaten 4 cookies. I had no choice. I had to eat some cookies as those of you who have taken LSD will attest: you never do that stuff alone. Several hours later, my mother came back to the room. Her reaction: "Aww...you're tripping without me?"
He never did call me back after that date.
Hit a writers block last night, but I think it had to do with the stress of work. Yesterday was just a hell day and today is not looking much better being "Conference Call Tuesday".
Tonight, I have to face the music with the finance committee at the local church. I am not looking forward to that. How did I ( a person who does not like dealing with accounting) get involved as chair of a church finances? Because nobody else wanted to do it.
Same thing as being the webmaster for the softball league...nobody else wanted to do it and I didn't have the smarts to say no. Sombody shoot me now!
At least I finally registered the domain name and have begun preparing the website for traveling spotlight. I hope to actually have a working site by the end of the month. I found a group of pictures I would like to use (if the artist is willing to let me use them). If not, my mom has offered to send me some pictures that I might be able to use. I'd prefer to not use her works, as I really want this to be my site.
Time to prepare for the next conference call.
