Riding the Rollercoaster

So it's official...I am on a very steep roller coaster and I am feeling a little scared. Well maybe a lot scared. Went out on a fist date with Jason, and he agreed to go to a candlelight party, that a friend was holding. First date? At a party with a large group of my friends? I'm not sure I know what I was thinking, but it did go well. After the party, we went to dinner and then to watch a movie.

Jason was well...utterly charming to my friends, and they all responded very well to him. So why am I nervous? I've realized I'm not in line for the rollercoaster, but I'm already riding the mother of all rides and this is a pretty fast one! We are moving a bit fast, and it concerns me. I don't want to get hurt again (summer was tough). So we are going to have to slow it down just a little. At least to let me catch my breath. So tonight, we aren't seeing each other, but we are going to see each other tomorrow during the volleyball game.

I do have one thing that is making me nervous, and this is a pretty big thing for me. Stephanie really liked Jason (and I think I do too), so she asked me if she could invite him to her holiday party. I said yes. Now I wish I hadn't. This is just so stupid and at the same time...it's freaking me out anyway. Todd and Jeff will be at this party. If it was just Todd at this party, I wouldn't have a problem. Todd and Jason and I have a lot in common, and I easily could see us all being friends. That being said...I can't forgive Jeff for ending our friendship once he met Todd, and I know that I can't be in any way a part of Todd's life, as that means being involved in Jeff's as well. I've told Jason about Jeff and how much he hurt me, but I'm not one to say "you can't be friends with a particular person." I'm just so apprehensive about this situation. I can feel my stress level climbing very quickly.

Good thing Jason is a massage therapist, because I have a feeling I'm going to need him to help me relax.