Do you think this might work?

Now Hiring

Professional Bed Warmer - Single white comedian seeks professional bed warmer to keep me warm on winter nights. Must have body temperature of 98.6 degrees, be reasonably attractive, be willing to "think outside of the box" while performing duties, have the stamina of an Olympic athlete, and the ability to bang a headboard like a sailor on leave. Must enjoy cuddling, romantic dinners, dancing, looking longingly into my eyes, and playing sports (both in the bedroom and out). Now taking applications until the position is filled.

Sunday...Volleyball baby! I joined the gay volleyball league (in my never ending quest to find a decent man), so of course it is only fitting that my team consists of 6 women, one straight man, and myself. Now of course it is not about winning or losing, but really about how good you look playing while the hot guys are in the next court.

So while playing the game, I kept accidentally hitting the balls into the next court. What would Freud say? I might as well have put my telephone number on the volleyball and when it hit the guy in the number 74 t-shirt, yelled "Call me!" I can be such a shameless flirt.

That flirting has gotten me into trouble, as I do tend to be too "nice". Rather than be rude, I try to let a guy down easy. My problem...some guys have been rudely rejected enough times that being "let down easy" is perceived as an encouragement. I sometimes think I got to just learn to be a prick. I'm specifically thinking of someone on my bowling league who had the audacity to kiss me as he was leaving. Now a peck on the check...that is sweet. Tipping me backwards and trying to push your tongue down my throat is not a good thing. ESPECIALLY WHEN I DON'T KNOW YOUR NAME!!! Mindless oaf!
So were dating now....just kidding.

The volleyball games were ok. We lost 5 and won 5 games, although for me...I really just want to have fun, and I don't care if we lose. I hope our team can keep that same attitude, but I do sense a "we want to win attitude". This team will be low drama...I insist on it.