An Ode to my Gray Hair

Here’s to the men, who have impacted my life.
Most of them are gone after causing me strife.
Remembering most of you, gives me a scare
Each one on my head in the form of gray hair.

There’s Chris who I met when I was just fifteen
Blond hair and blue eyes and smile that would gleem.
To my bed he agreed after tonics with gin
Broke up the next week ‘cause he thought it’s a sin.

I moved on to Dan who was 18 years young.
Who showed me there’s no need to sleep with the hung
My humor evolved as I kept him in stitch
He cheated on me with his new friend named Rich.

Anthony stepped forward as the next in line
Dark hair and dark eyes and an ass that was fine
“I belong to you, and you belong to me”
That’s what I thought until he stole my TV!

Along came Darren whose friends said he had lied.
When he was confronted he tried suicide.
The bathroom was where he took pills and did wail
They took him away and I “lost his e-mail”

Three more men did follow each one seemed the same
So ordinary I don’t recall a name
I’ll name them right now: Thomas, Harry and Dick!
In a police line up I couldn’t now pick

The love life was dead, and my life seemed just flat
Until I met a deaf man, whose name was Pat
Not a thing did he hear, but was good with his hand
No job and no future and played in a band?

Nick told me he had seven inches un-cut
If you believe that monkeys fly out my butt
We couldn’t kiss, most things were to intimate
JESUS H. CHRIST! I think I’ll call this one quits

Steve was a great guy. Cute and well worth the wait,
After seven months we continued to date
But soon after that, it wasn’t meant to be
Brought someone along, humiliated me

I then decided that I needed a friend
One who would hear how my relationships end
A kindred spirit who understood the scene
He had to be manly, not a screaming queen

I met this new friend through the net, yes online…
We met at my house where I thought, “Damn he’s fine!”
We kept things platonic, which worked out at first.
But then we got too close, took a turn for the worst.

Introduced him to my friends, now I regret
He had none of his own, a freak I had met
We went out all the time. He always was free
His mantra in Life? Well...“it’s all about me!”

A fool he had made me. I let him, that’s true
I spent months lamenting my loss. Just so blue.
The new year I found that I pity his mate
He loves a man without courage, but it’s too late

My gray hairs get larger in numbers you see
These are the things that boyfriends have done to me
To each of these men, in my past they do lie.
I forget them each time my gray hair is dyed.

I think of this now, and I learn from my past
In my history I have moved way too fast.
A fine strong man is out there, this do I dream
But until I meet him, I'll just eat ice cream