Money Worth Spending

Memorial day and the bar season begins. Here in Cleveland, most of us don't go outside over the winter as it gets too cold. If you want to go out to a club or bar, you need to wear too many clothes in order to stay warm for the drive, only to have to remove them in the car, before going into the club, so you can look your best. Memorial day starts a change, as everybody goes out and celebrates by wearing as little clothing as possible in the clubs. (here in Cleveland, you can expect 90+ degree weather in the summer at 90% humidity...which makes it feel as if you are moving in 120 degree weather).

The problem is that I am not 22 anymore (shhh...I'm in denial here), and my body does not take well to going out every night. Of course, that didn't stop me from trying to go out every night.

Friday: Free Drinks at Deco with Miss. Hairspray herself...SHAMPOO Shamus, who had won a contest and had $40 worth of free drinks. Drink cheap (which I can) and you can drink free all night). Shamus, being a easy one to get "three shades to the wind" wound up posing for some priceless pictures.


Shamus and the perfect man...a man who can't talk back.

Shamus and some random couple who wouldn't shut up unless I took their picture (never argue with a drunk queen).

I think he just farted. (I know...4th grade humor...but I couldn't think of a better caption)

Shamus getting a lap dance.

What did I learn from Friday? Never let the camera out of your hands and you have no incriminating evidence!


Saturday:
I spent the day pet sitting for a friend who was out of town. Now for those of you who don't know, the best way to meet a potential relationship partner is to have a prop. For straight men, push around a baby in the mall. Women will come to you like you are the only man left in the world. Gay men...borrow a friends dog. Let the dog loose in a place where lots of gay men congregate, and ta-daa! You have lots of potential dates. I let Diesel (A chocolate lab mix) loose in the park, and the pup did good. My mentality...We both deserve to get a bone.
I went out with Ann Squared (lesbian couple both named Ann) for a bit of gaming, and was in the sack at a decent hour.

Sunday:
Spent most of the writing and painting, but finished off the evening back at the local hangout of Twist with my friend David. Now something I have never understood about the Cleveland Queens here is that most of them are kissers. The more people you know...the more kisses of hello and goodbye you get. I know way too many people. In one night, I kissed a

• Jeff (volleyball and softball league, 33 years old)
  
• Jay(volleyball, 34)
  
• Rob(softball, 30)
  
• Alex(bowling, 25)
  
• Terry (just met him Friday night, 36)
  
• Ray (from the gym, 33)
  
• Tom (softball, 38)
  
• Todd (coffee shop buddy, 35)
  
• Tony (store owner, 36)
  
• What's his face (Can't remember his name, but he remembers me, age? early 30's)
  

But most fun was walking into the hallway and looking at a taller guy (who am I kidding...I'm 5'6"...everyone is taller) and realizing that I have been reading his blog for a over a month. I finally got to meet Ryan of Ryan's task. He surprised me with how much more attractive in person he is. He gave me a great joke that I will eventually use in a future posting. A pity Shamus wasn't there, as he also has been reading Ryan's site.

So here it is...the beginning of a new week, and I am already slammed. I've got way too much to do, both with work, as well as with comedy work. I've got softball practice on Tuesday night, I leave for Philadelphia on Friday, come back on Sunday and play two softball games. Add to that, I am trying to finish 6 paintings so I can sell them on e-bay and my stress level is climbing. I need a maid, a cook, a personal trainer, and a secretary.