Procrastination

Procrastination is like masturbation. In the end, you just fucked yourself.

Ok. Normally I write my posts a day in advance (usually flying through it the night before) then do some quick editing the next day. Not very good editing, as several times I will miss words, or change tenses, but this site has always been a continuous work in progress/ rant space/ sounding board for future comedy bits and my thoughts in general. Where am I going with this today? Who knows...it's Friday, everyone is on vacation already, and I am sitting here at the office wishing I could access porn to pass the time. Isn't porn such a wonderful work objective?

While working at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio (AKA.. Butt Fuck Egypt...seriously...Saturday was reserved for watching the corn grow), I used to get religious pamphlets on my work desk telling me that if I changed my ways, my soul could be saved. All I needed to do was fall down on my knees and worship. Thankfully we gay men already know how to do that. I've personally worshiped so much, my knees have calluses. In fact, I look at this picture and kind of wish I was worshiping right now, and it's a mighty long service...Uhh (are these pants tight?)...what was I saying?

Thanks to Sardonic-Bomb for the pic and whose website has provided many procrastination fantasies.

Come to think of it...masturbation is sometimes better than sex with a partner. With a partner, I have to help him out, and he may not do what I need correctly. With masturbation...either I get off, or I just give up...and I have no reason to fake it. I still have no idea why women do that!

Ladies take it from a gay man here...If you ain't had at least one...he ain't done! You tell that man to put a bib on and you don't want to hear another word from him unless it's "my tongue is tired". Of course you women do have an advantage as once you find a man who can do what you need, you can get off as many times as you want. If I was a woman, you wouldn't be able to stop me. I'd have my hand down my pants at all times of the day. Huh...I do that already...SOMETHING ELSE I HAVE IN COMMON WITH WOMEN! Girl power!

Now being single is not always what it is cracked up to be though. Try to go on a vacation when you are single. All packages are priced for double occupancy, and to go it alone, you have to pay a single supplement. Not that anyone can afford to go on vacation right now. Gas being over $2.00 a gallon, I can probably afford to drive as far as Pittsburgh. Now that's a happening vacation. The Steel City...of course...they haven't made steel in years.

So a friend suggested that I model for a porn magazine for extra cash. He says I've been sitting (literally) on my money maker and that I could make quite a bit of additional cash. Hot Toddy made a similar comment that he approved of my backside when he visited. This makes me always wonder...If I'm so good looking, why are men so afraid to approach me? A friend says I need to accentuate the positive. Does that mean I need to cut out the cheeks of my pants and walk backwards into the gay bars of Cleveland?

And I notice my friends feel the same way. No body approaches them. Why is that? I'll tell you why. We spend more time worrying what other people think of us, and not enough time loving ourselves. So tonight,I will change this. I'm planning on loving myself as many times as physically possible before I fall asleep.