I'm Patrick. Who the Hell are you?

Eveyone else has done one, so I figured it was time that I relent to the peer pressure and write this list out.

100 Things about me

1. I was born in Pittsburgh in 1970.


2. My father insisted I attend Catholic school.


3. I never really believed in the Catholic faith.


4. I gave my first blowjob in the bushes in front of a church.


5. He was not a priest.


6. The guy is married to a woman now.


7. After being arrested for protesting a church, I was excommunicated.


8. I’ve haven’t been back in a Catholic Church since.


9. I don’t miss it.


10. Yet I still believe in a higher power.


11. My mantra is to treat others, as you would want to be treated.


12. It’s difficult when someone walks all over me.


13. I hate two persons in this world.


14. Nobody knows who the one person is.


15. My father is the other.


16. I’m glad he’s dead.


17. I woke up the morning he died, and knew it had happened.


18. A family member sent me a letter confirming it several days after the
    funeral.


19. I don’t know where they buried him.


20. My future plans do not include visiting his gravesite.


21. I have seriously dated only one person in my life.


22. We lived together for 6 years


23. He’s the only person I’ve ever said, “I love you” to.


24. It wasn’t the truth.


25. We aren’t a couple anymore, but still remain friends.


26. I can count on one hand those friends I would call family.


27. They are closer to me than my mother.


28. I’ve never trusted anyone enough to tell them everything about me.


29. It will take some serious dynamite to break the walls I’ve built around me.


30. I’m working on finding the right explosives.


31. I went to the University of Colorado at Boulder.


32. This is the same school that graduated Matt Stone and Trey Parker of South
    Park.


33. We used to party together.


34. My first major in college was computer science.


35. I lasted a semester before transferring to theater.


36. My audition for the theater program sucked.


37. I still was admitted, but was admitted on probation.


38. Being told I was too short to play a lead, I tried to play comic relief roles.


39. I have great comic timing.


40. My advisor told me I should quit, as I would never get professional work.


41. Two weeks later I was cast in an 18 month touring production.


42. I sent my advisor a copy of my contract and my equity card.


43. My competitive nature is a bit much at times.


44. I’ve never forgotten the names of any person who has beat me out for a part.


45. I started performing stand-up comedy in Colorado.


46. Only once have I been jeered off a stage.


47. The club owner took me to breakfast later.


48. And offered me a 6 week contract.


49. I quit comedy 7 years later for a boyfriend I thought I loved.


50. That will NEVER happen again.


51. I am an audacious flirt.


52. Others have interpreted my flirting to be serious.


53. Which has put me into a position of feeling required to “put out”.


54. I have had more sexual partners than my mother has had husbands.


55. Unfortunately my mother has married 17 times.


56. I’m not sure if this earns me the title of slut.


57. I’ve been described as insatiable.


58. Learning to say “No” has been very difficult for me in the past.


59. I’ve lived in way too many places in the world.


60. None of those places feel like home to me.


61. Florence, Italy was my favorite.


62. Cleveland is not where I plan on staying.


63. I’m not sure where I will live next.


64. I hated playing sports while growing up.


65. I now play volleyball, softball, kickball, and bowling.


66. However I wouldn’t consider myself athletic.


67. Others have disagreed.


68. I’m an exhibitionist.


69. My neighbors across the street told me so.


70. Now I close my blinds when I have "company".


71. Well…not always.


72. In reality, I am painfully shy.


73. Nobody believes me when I tell him or her that I am.


74. I’ve posed nude for artists since I was 7.


75. My mother has painted me nude at least 40 times.


76. The last time, I was 22 years old.


77. My boyfriend at the time was freaked out by it.


78. He was modeling as well.


79. My last time modeling nude did not go well.


80. I don’t think he had film in the camera.


81. With him…I said “NO!”


82. I can count on one hand the number of hours of TV I watch a week.


83. Therefore I don’t subscribe to cable or satellite TV.


84. I was taped for television stand-up comedy show once.


85. The final version that was released had cut my set for time purposes.


86. I still got paid.


87. The corporate world has laid me off 4 times.


88. All during the presidency of G.W. Bush.


89. I have never missed the opportunity of voting.


90. It is a privilege that I don’t take for granted.


91. My political beliefs have forced me to protest in the past.


92. I’ve been arrested for protesting 5 times.


93. One time I was cavity searched to “teach me a lesson.”


94. The lesson I learned was never trust the police.


95. I’ve changed that opinion after reading the blog of a cop.


96. I am a cancer survivor.


97. I was diagnosed with 8 months to live.


98. Two years later, the doctors were still surprised I was living.


99. My remission ending is something that terrifies me.


100. I try not to think about it.