Incest is Best

I'm off to Philadelphia (the city of brotherly love) for a show. Now I'll admit it...I love doing comedy. What other job allows you to drink beer, make fun of yourself, and stand in second hand smoke your entire work shift. And thank God most people have not figured out how easy this job is, or it would be impossible to get work. However, it is still work, and that is the negative side of this life, in that this is still a business first and foremost.

I basically prostitute myself to the highest bidding comedy club, in hopes that I can continue to keep working. And highest bidding is NOT THAT MUCH. This means sleeping in your car, eating PB&J sandwiches twice a day, helping clean up the club after it closes, and selling anything about yourself (t-shirts and CD's are good sellers). You have to be pleasant in public at all times, as the more people you know, the more of a crowd you can draw in a club. Even when you are hurting the most, you still must put on the "happy face" and fake it.

I got a call this morning when I got to work. Apparently I am not "gay enough" (read:Lispy queen) for a local comedy show that is being held in honor of the Cleveland Pride festival. Good Lord...I've been out of the closet for 19 years. I'm not a practicing homosexual...I'm a professional. So here I am, on the phone with this show producer, trying to convince her that I can "gay it up" with the best of them, swish my way into a room, be able to remake it in 2 days with less than $1000 and still have time to drink a latte, and all the while never get my nails dirty. Then it hit me...what lows have I sunk to? Where is my self respect? I know where...with student loans over 100,000 I sold my self respect a long time ago. Now I'm selling my sheets at a flea market.

Yet it still bothered me as this producer wants the stereotypical gay up on stage. Why? Can't a regular person who happens to be gay be funny? I was originally going to post a piece that Scott Thompson (formally of Kids in the Hall) did at a show as a audio blog entry, but it suddenly didn't feel the right thing to do. Most of you don't know my speaking voice yet, and this piece is meant to be done with a very strong lisp, to show the irony. Doing that voice (and yes...I've done voice over work...so I can do it well) would give you all a preconceived thoughts about who I am...and at the same time, would perpetuate what this producer wants to see. (of course...I can hear my old agent screaming for not taking the show).

So instead, I'll just hold onto that audio post a little longer, and wait until the time is right.