A Friend in Need...

Ok...This is a drunk post. After having a very late night cocktail and waking up...Well let's just say...I'm feeling a bit over the top. Woooooooooooo----hoooooooo!!!!! I can't really guarantee my clothes are going to stay on. So somebody pass me a cup of coffee.

All my life, my grandmother has had crappy little sayings spewing out of her mouth that were supposed to inspire me. You all know the sayings I'm talking about. Those little items of wisdom that make you just want to puke.

For example...growing up, my grandmother didn't like me playing with one of the neighborhood boys (ironic as currently...she can't stand me "playing" with any boys). She felt that this particular friend was a bad influence and wanted me to keep away from him. When I would question her, she would state "Birds of a feather flock together."

Yeah...that pearl of wisdom was wasted on me as I never understood what birds had to do with hanging out with a friend. It was almost as bad as "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" line that was used when she found out I was sexually active (my mom had to explain it).

However, last night...I realized the full potential of one of her sayings. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Last night...my friend was that friend in need. While we were out painting the town (i.e. drinking way too much in the local gay bars) I took her to one of my preferred hangouts...Therapy. The bar is a nice place that has two levels. Apparently, while I was looking at things on the second level, my friend thought it would be funny to go behind the bar of the first level. That her hand happened to stick to a bottle of vodka was just coincidence and that the said bottle made it's way into her purse was just an accident.

The next thing I knew...I was the friend in need, convincing the bar staff that she was just "that drunk", and didn't realize that the bathroom was on the other side of the bar. That her bar in her home town allows customers behind the bar and that she forgot where she was.

Yes...A friend in need...

So where is my friend today? Sleeping off what could only be described as "frat house consumption" as I am working my day job. Where's my friend indeed? Why isn't she here covering for me while I sleep an extra few hours?

Now if you excuse me...I'm going to look busy today. I feel a hangover coming on.